10 Reasons I Knew My Husband Would Be A Great Dad

Liam Missing Daddy (December 2011)

It's no secret that DeMarko and I weren't exactly dating, at least not seriously, when I found myself pregnant. I had known him for years, yes, but serious we were not. Glennon Melton often says of her marriage: "It was the best decision I never really made." I think that is true for us, too. 

If I'm being totally truthful, though, I had absolutely no clue as to what kind of parent he would be. But over the course of my pregnancy and the two and a half years, after Liam was born, that he was away working in Kuwait, I caught glimpses of the kind of Dad he might be. Here are 10 reasons I knew he'd be a great one:

1. From the moment he found out I was pregnant, he stood by me. Okay, so maybe he spent 30 minutes on that particular phone call taking deep breaths and repeatedly saying "Okay. Okay. Okay," but then he stood by me.

2. Because his first email, after finding out I was pregnant, read: "But what will you do with your crazy cat?"

3. A couple months after he found out I was pregnant, things started arriving at the house: the bassinet I wanted, the baby swing I picked out. And then, after we found out we were having a boy, a teeny-tiny "ladies' man" onesie. 

4. Even though he wanted to be home once Liam was born, he stayed in Kuwait to work, because he knew we needed the money now, more than ever.

5. He cares about things like Tylenol. Okay, so I had to educate him on good and bad timing (i.e. DO NOT send an email with a link about the negative effects of children's Tylenol right after your wife has been up all night with a sick child -- wait a few days). And I've learned to appreciate his "input," by reminding myself that some women would give anything to have their children's fathers care about things like Tylenol. 

6. Because during his first visit home from Kuwait, when Liam was five months old, he climbed into bed, woke me up, and whispered: "Hey. When you first saw him, did you get, like, a tingling in your chest?"

7. When I was uncomfortable leaving my job before Liam was born, he said: "Please, let me pay you for carrying our child. I wouldn't want to do it." 

8. He bought me a Kindle after we received Liam's diagnosis. It was my "this isn't your fault" gift. Husband bonus points: he figured out very quickly that my "love language" is receiving (and giving) gifts.

9. Because when we received Liam's diagnosis, he remained a rock, which allowed me to be a complete basketcase. And he said things like "he's still our son" and "we'll come up with a new plan." 

10. Because I once overheard him telling Liam (before heading out to Kuwait again): "Be good for your Mommy, okay."

 
10 Reasons I Know I Was Right:

1. He's read all about a new, up-and-coming procedure that allows people with hydrocephalus to live without shunts.

2. He's thought about what colleges would be best for Liam, in terms of wheelchair accessibility and competitive sports.

3. Because when Liam and I first moved to Kuwait, I found, like, hundreds of outlet covers that he had bought in preparation of Liam's arrival.

4. He never complains. Well, okay, sometimes he complains, but then I kindly remind him that I gave birth alone and traveled weekly to Chicago with a newborn baby for full, eight hour days of doctor appointments (and multiple surgeries), and then he never complains.

5. He feeds the stray cats that live outside our building. I don't know if this has anything to do with being a good dad -- except for maybe it teaches Liam empathy and compassion -- but he feeds cats, people!

6. He finds the best iPad apps. 

7. He cares about what Liam eats. This used to drive me crazy, until he explained it to me: "I don't get to take credit for anything else he does -- reading, writing, his physical therapy -- because I'm at work all the time. This is the one thing I can do for him." For the record: I also care about what Liam eats -- obviously, it's especially important because of the Spina Bifida -- but I don't see the harm in getting a special treat once a week. We have since come to a compromise: Liam can have treats on special occasions, like holidays and vacations. And you better believe I made sure he got ice cream and a cookie on our most recent trip to Dubai.

8. Because he goes from being a "couch parent" to a "helicopter parent" in 10 seconds flat. FYI: we refer to his remarkable skill of sitting on the couch and asking me questions like "are you sure you're doing that catheter right?" -- even though he still has absolutely no idea how to do Liam's catheters -- as "couch parenting."

9.Because no matter how tired he is after a twelve hour workday, when Liam throws a ball and yells "catch," he catches it. 

10. Because he treats me like the queen that I am, which is, quite possibly, the best thing he could do for his son. 

Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy I know! I couldn't have "chosen" a better Daddy for Liam.

And a shout-out to my friend, Lauren (aka Dad #2), who was my rock while Dad #1 was away working. I don't know how I would've done it without you.